Saturation

Whilst this last attack is fresh, I want to try and write down what it feels like. Despite it feeling a lot less intense than it was prior to this change of diet, it is still significant, and still in many ways, debilitating. The constant feeling of nausea, the noise in my head, ears and the big swings in mood - all too common.

But something is curiously different. It is intense but less invasive now. I did not throw up this time, I knew it was coming, my ears were blocked for days prior to it, and the weather has been horrible.

What does it feel like ? Saturation. It feels like irritation on a mental level. A level of overwhelming noise. Many weeks back, when the attacks brought constant vomiting, it felt like I could not move, every motor movement created a wrenching feeling at the back of my head. I was overwhelmed it would be impossible to describe the sensation. If I was to describe it, it felt like I had a drill put into the back of my head, and churning my head.

Now that the intensity has softened, it is easier to pinpoint and describe. It feels like a part of the brain, near the crown of the head is experiencing an overwhelming distortion, that sensation creates a sense of anxiety and chemistry that begins a trail of destruction, impending doom. I guess in many ways, if I was to let it overwhelm, it would initiate a chain of chemicals that breed further anxiety, fear and adrenaline. But there is no easy way for me to tell my subconscious to stop, with the exception to not allow myself to follow it - the subconscious is a creature of habit no? How can I achieve this ?

What I found a little helpful - is to tell myself

An attack is happening, my ears are clearing up, this is the necessary evil of becoming better. Soon my tinnitus will be gone, and the fullness will dissipate. Ignore my ear, focus on my eye, and let my eye not follow the path it wishes to follow, focus on an object, disallow it to move away into nystagmus, and stay calm. Ignore the pain in my shoulder, let go off the stiffness. Breath and focus on my breathing, just watch, watch it lengthen and not allow to become shallow and short, watch my heartbeat - and watch it slow, and lessen intensity, listen to the thump, not carry with it, it will soften and cease. Basically be aware, but rather than fight, accept it as it is. 

It has been helpful for me, and I hope it helps you.

Caffeine issues

Approximately 16 weeks ago, I went out on another day climbing, a week after having a massive vertigo attack. Indeed the body still felt unstable, wobbly. I jumped onto a boulder problem called Anorexic at Crumbly, a routine warm up here with a rather powerful last move. As luck has it, when your balance isn't great, your movement lacks fluidity. As a result, torn A2 pulley that still hurts.

But what brought relevance here to this disease is this. In the last 20 or so years, the consumption of coffee has increased significantly, meaning more and more of us are addicts of caffeine. Coffee and caffeine are heavily correlated with the inability of the body to adsorb vitamin C, which results in massive other issues. However, for a climber, Vitamin C is responsible for a myriad of related collagen regeneration which are crucial for the recovery of tendon stresses during super-compensation  and indeed, recovery from injury. Even more so, coffee's stimulant properties does 2 things - makes you exercises and think you are fully recovered moments after feeling tired and drained - and secondly, it disrupts your recovery, resulting in the overtraining symptoms. 

Vitamin C is needed for the growth and repair of tissues in all parts of your body. It is used to:
Form an important protein used to make skin, tendons, ligaments, and blood vessels
Heal wounds and form scar tissue
Repair and maintain cartilage, bones, and teeth

pubmed health

Taking vitamin C supplements is one very good option, but as nature has it - your body isn't the most efficient at adsorbing the acid on it's own. Indeed the enzymes available in fruits assist in the adsorption making fruits one of the most crucial forms of food your should consume. Some of the best include things like oranges, strawberries and blueberries, the latter containing a serious anti-oxidant punch.

Vitamin C reduces glutathione back to the active form. Once reduced, glutathione will regenerate vitamin C from its DHAA or oxidized state. The prophylactic effects of vitamin C as an antioxidant during exercise, when free radical formation is high, will be discussed in future sections of this literature review. A well-known function of AA is the role it plays in hydroxylation reactions that are essential for the formation of collagen. Vitamin C is important in collagen formation as it allows for a tight cross-linking of the triple helix, thereby resulting in stabilization of the peptide

http://www.exrx.net/Nutrition/Antioxidants/VitaminC.html

I love my coffee - and I am an addict, but to watch your body deteriorate before you in love of what you do, is not just frustrating, it generates change, and indeed letting go of ones attachment. But to realise this change has had a massive contribution to how I've been handling Meniere's, is a wonderful realisation. Today I'm still trying to reduce coffee consumptions to once every 2 days, allowing myself a lesser and lesser shot during the coffee consuming day. And every vitamin C supplement I take is now accompanied by a serve or 2 of fruits, spread across the day.

Powering through

So it is blatantly clear now that the recent cluster of bad weather is heavily correlated with Meniere's. Specifically the first few days of overcast and showers brought about a rather dull and low frequency drone in my head. Some what different to the high frequency screaming in my ear, this one is slightly more tolerable, albeit still no fun.

The day before, I managed to take my little girl for a power walk, carrying a 10kgs pack for the added exercise. Managed a bit of sweat but it really helped to be out there and getting the blood pumping. It was not enough to eliminate the low frequency drone though. I took a Vitamin D, just in case.

Yesterday, it hit again - but not too hard. I went out to the deck when the showers took a break, and started doing some high intensity exercises. In the middle of it, my vertigo was hitting pretty fast, but I was in the middle of the routine, and somehow managed to keep going despite being extremely tired and disorientated. Hanging around backwards doesn't help much. I kept focussing on objects a distance away when I can, and one eye closed to stop the disorientation. After training, it didn't feel good at all - I went for a bit of a nap after properly hydrating on fluids again. It was only maybe 30 minutes of rest but I got up without any signs of dizziness, and the constant hum in the ears were gone.

Very happy to I didn't end up in another episode of uncontrollable spewing and managed to get some power routines in. If I can keep this momentum up, I hope I can train my mind to rewire my balance away the ears and make use of my eyes instead. It's very unsettling, the constant anxiety, the feeling of wanting to throw up violently, but all in all - somehow managed pulled through. One step forward - baby steps - but dampness is really a killer to Meniere's.