Vertical movement

What a revelation it has been slack-lining.  The last time I wrote, I had trouble standing up on the line. It has been interesting, now I can walk up and down 20m on the line on a good day. On a bad day, I can't stand on it at all. But that is no surprise given the disease we have. 

During the one attack (yes, I've had one attack since), it was interesting to note that despite quite severe nystagmus, I was able to move myself to a place to rest, and not succumb to nausea. As you all know when a vertigo attack hits, that the motion sickness itself is the one that becomes completely debilitating. Well, I am glad to say that it really helped with tolerance against nystagmus. 

Lately I have been experimenting with various motions on the slack-line. And it is becoming quite clear now that it is the slow moving vertical movement that triggers nausea. Even small amounts of slow constant movement on the vertical axis, will send me feeling nauseas. This makes sense, some of my worst triggers are all vertically based. So my exercise now on the slack-line is to concentrate on bopping up and down the line, as opposed to walking on it constantly. This really triggers the sickness, but I have noticed one of the enormous strengths gained is the ability to abandon thoughts, and concentrate on the gaze, calm the mind and calm the breath. And there it is, breath to the gaze.

During nystagmus, if you are able to maintain your gaze perfectly and concentrate, then the nausea begins to settle. The dizziness fails to take over and control somewhat returns - well it does for me. I am able to get to a safe place, and rest until the attack is over, for now. And this is one of the very ability I saw when I mentioned before, the guy who has had nystagmus all his life, that he was able to momentarily focus and gaze on a subject, walk about otherwise, without feeling sick. And I believe the key here to that adaptation is through the calmness of the breath, as opposed to hate and anxiety.

I believe, in time, we can do it too !

Lately I have noticed many people are beginning to think of this disease in terms of neuro-plasticity. I am glad to hear this, because too many of us who suffer this disease seal our fate by reinforcing the anxiety, and that will result in worst attacks. By giving so much hatred and anger to the disease, it begins to take over ones life completely, and really does make it feel worthless, but the understanding of neuro-plasticity really provides a way of knowing we can make what's left of our balance, and relearn how to adapt to things we cannot change. Maybe, with any luck, we can make a change and rewire our vestibular brain!

May you find your balance..... 

Increased vitamin D

Vitamin D update

My 5000IU doses of Vitamin D arrived, and I started taking it promptly. The good news is that it made me feel better, stronger - like I've had 2 shots of fresh brewed coffee without the jitters. The bad news is, I still had slightly dizzy attacks early on after increasing my dosage. I'm unclear if the effects of vitamin D will make any immediate difference to my vestibular health, or does it take longer to take effect. One thing it did make me feel however, is a hell of a lot more energetic, aware - alert.  I guess what I can report on is that if you are in fact low on Vitamin D, and that has become your norm, then this is going to wake you up from your hiatus! Within a few days, my power endurance activity increased significantly.

I'm also sleeping better, and that is not normal for me.

New therapy?

At the same time, I've also started doing something incredibly unlikely, slack-lining.

Apparently, when a new activity is used adopted by the brain, it is able to increase it's size and connectivity by multiple folds within a week. I have also heard numbers of 50% within a day given the right stimulation. I suppose the difference is willingness. 

This little 2 inch wide bit of tape has been my ticket. Incredibly rubbish at slack-lining  I found myself frustratingly bad at even standing on the line for a split second. But this has been incredible therapy, and so much fun at it. I could have sworn the temporal bone behind my ears experienced pressure and pain the first few sessions. Previously I have practised awareness towards sound, however, I started to realise it wasn't sensitivity to sound that I had to increase awareness, it was spatial and balance, so I decided to give this a try.

The first few sessions, was about relaxing and one interesting trait I noted off the eye. I found it very difficult to stare at the one spot, with random and constant shifting of a point of concentration despite my greatest efforts. It's not as if my attention moved away, but the focus of my eye would not stay. However increasingly with this practise, I became more fixated on a point, it translated to being able to correct my posture, straighten up and ease into relaxation. Strangely enough, it also helps you ease anxiety. So far so good right ?

I'm still absolutely atrocious given how many tries I have had but I have a feeling this is really something that is going to help me a lot with this disease. Sure beats walking up and down the hallway moving my head left right up and down. And again, ... is therapy meant to be this fun ? 

Vestibular Migraine

I am definitely sure, that the last lot of attacks I blogged about a few days back, are not considered Meniere's attacks. Typically, in an onset of Meniere's - there is a distinct lost of hearing. The ears are generally full and lasts for a while, days to weeks. There is significant blockage in the ear, until, such time, the hydrops in the middle ear release resulting in vertigo and nausea. 

In this particular case, there was significant soreness in the eyes, before the vertigo started, the ear blockage is insignificant, and there was no hearing loss associated with it, or ear fullness. There is a familiarity, like this has happened before - it develops and then the vertigo arrives - This migraine results in the nausea and feeling like my head is about to explode. 

Which brings me to this question.

There is no question the brain is plastic and ever changing. However, can the brain be wired to manifests a symptom based on one other. In other words - if you had vertigo due to hydrops - can the easy onset of vertigo be created through an alternate pathway, such as through that of migraine? 

If the above is true, what is the function of the brain to achieve such a pathway? Is the vestibular part of the brain closely related to that of anxiety? What kinda of regulation is best to control such behaviour? Perhaps, the use of hearing meditation, or some sort of sound therapy can assist with increasing the blood flow and healing of the vestibular region of the brain. Regardless, I wanted to throw this question out there - and also to share this ...

http://www.livestrong.com/article/307997-vestibular-migraines-diet/


I do feel though many people suggests that Meniere's and vertigo leads to anxiety orders. I would suggest instead of being the result, it may be the cause - or that it works side by side. But I am no neuroscientist. It is just how I feel, my symptoms became severely worst after long series of anxiety and depression. Maybe this is natures own healing path ? 

For those who are triggered by pressure and food. I had a chance to speak with a friend, who happens to be a doctor, and I explained a few triggers, including that of humidity, and pressure. He said that it was most likely due to pressure, and that it is a common feature of migraines. 

Hope this helps, I do feel a lot more lucid now, 4 days after the attack. 


update:
So it has been documented, anxiety can lead to vertigo 
http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/signs/vertigo
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Dizziness_and_vertigo

Went without Chlorella, paying the price

For experimental sake, I decided in the last week that I would go without chlorella. We went away for a weekend to an elevated area in the mountains, one of the highest rainfall areas in this region - and it wasn't too long before an attack came - frustratingly ending our holidays short, and no more climbing. 

So here I am after recovering somewhat, wondering what triggered it all. During the celebration of my daughters birthday, I had 2 glasses of champagne, and blueberries by the bucket loads. I remember feeling unable to open one of my eyes, and I thought it could have been allergies. But when I looked into the mirror, my eyes were no longer looking straight, one was again tilted higher than the other. Also, the madness of the weather didn't help - summer was at its craziest, the temperature peaking in the city at a little over 45C and where we were 40C, dropping to a mere 16C at night, followed by 2 cold rainy days.

Is it the vitamin D or the anti-oxidant properties of Chlorella ? Or was it completely placebo ? I remember sitting in the car, having forgotten I have forgone Chlorella - and watching the way I reacted. My head inclined one way to prevent triggering that crazy migraine that comes when the vertigo goes to nausea. Any movements - my breathing becomes short and body spasm, hands become completely numb, pins and needles, legs are uncomfortable, and I can hardly find it in myself to explain how I feel. 

Again, when I got home - I forced myself to drink a bit of water, and a vitamin D tablet. An hour later, woke up and I could sit up again without feeling like throwing up - was even able to eat a little bit. What happened ? 

How can the anxiety attacks and emotional roller coaster in the last 5 years end me in this state of chronic disability ? How can mental disease affect you so badly physically ? Is there a link between anxiety and the vestibular sensory organs or brain area ?

Answers

This is an opportunity for me to reflect back now on the questions asked.

Given how quickly I was able to recover by taking Vitamin D tablets, I think the main component in Chlorella that helped me so much was most likely Vitamin D. Furthermore, I recall during the time of my last big hoohaa around Vitamin D, and sunlight exposure, I was strong, my body was working efficiently when I wasn't feeling unwell, and yet my blood tests came back less than half the Recommended Vitamin D levels.

One of the biggest contributors to the increased difficulty of dealing with this disease is anxiety. Any signs of panic attack sends the body into spasms, and the best way to be in this situation is to remain calm and concentrate on nothing but the touch of my breath. Panic, brings more pain. 

There are numerous people out there with severe nystagmus on a constant basis that go on with their lives. The brain will retune and leave the vestibular organ as the primary source of balance, it can happen, but the best way to allow it to adjust to this new equilibrium, is to begin mindfulness and awareness, and not react, retuning itself to its new normal.

Conclusion

I've had a really good run, and chlorella has been a huge help to me. Be it its anti-oxidant properties or not, it has been time and time again proven for me, without it, I would suffer. Be it placebo or not, if I can believe that I am able to cope with snake oil and rid of my symptoms, then I can learn to accept that I can retrain my brain to not allow the panic attacks to follow through on its course.

But Vitamin D has helped me recover quickly so from here on onwards, I am trialling replacing my daily dose of Chlorella with that of Vitamin D. I am not sure why Vitamin D tablets are not sold in more than 1000IUs in Australia, however, we are a little backwards in Australia, we still advocate covering up and using sunblock uncompromisingly despite the epidemic of Vit D deficiencies, but I have ordered some 5000IU units online to trial for myself. 

Will update as I go.


BTW, a VERY good site on Vitamin D http://vitamindwiki.com/VitaminDWiki